The Asshat Recorder 10K

So, I’m riding into work today, trying to avoid the sheet of ice between me and the office, when a jerk in a white van pulls up, and starts screaming at me. Seems I dared to be on his road, getting in his way, and he wanted me to know it in full cussing glory. I mean, how dare I use his roads with my unapproved method of transportation.

I gave him the bird as he pulled off, which he returned. Then he got stopped and I pulled past him, now on the side walk, on my way to the office, and hollered back:  “Share the road, asshole, by the way, smile, you’re on Candid Camera!” He started screaming back until he recognized something. I was staring at him directly…and perched on my helmet was a device that looked suspiciously like a camera.  Suddenly he had somewhere else to be. He drove off.

I hollered ‘Welcome to Youtube!’ as he drove off.

Fortunately for this jerk, my helmet cam container didn’t actually contain the helmet camera. It’s at home, in need of a recharge and a cleanup of its internal storage of all the Christmas light videos I took. 🙂 Still. You never know. You could be on Candid Camera at any time, so you should restrain the urge to be a possessive asshole on the roads and not scream at bicyclists. Because we have as much right to be there as you do, and if we DO ride on the sidewalks, we’ll get screamed at by the pedestrians and get pulled over by the cops, and the pedestrians and the cops would be right. You do not have the right to ride on the sidewalk except to get to your destination on that block.

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